Vandry v ČR

Jak jsme nedošli ze Šumperku do Jeseníku


Stan. To je ona hodně diskutovaná součást vybavení do české přírody. Řekl bych, že má u nás více odpůrců, než-li zastánců, což lze chápat, neboť v našich luzích a hájích jsou opravdu luhy a háje, tudíž stromy, a většina nocí strávených venku se dá vyřešit stavbou více či méně provizorních přístřechů. Jenže na horách, i u nás, stromové patro leckdy vyklízí pozice již ve výškách jen mírně přesahujících 1000 metrů nad mořem. A kdo tedy chce mít jistotu, že ho na vrcholcích třebas takových Jeseníků nesmete vichr a bouře, měl by s sebou brát svého kopulovitého kamaráda. Tak jako já, s kamarádkou a kolegyní z práce v jedné osobě, Léňou. Její starý Husky, vybavený pouze šesti kolíky, a bez kotvících lan, nám snad v srpnu dobře poslouží.

Naše výprava byla narýsována bez nějakého dlouhého přemýšlení. Tři kliknutí na mapy.cz, a protože moje mladá spoluchodkyně ještě nikdy neměla tu čest s Jeseníky, rozhodli jsme se na poslední letní víkend uniknout pražským tropům na jejich nejvyšší horu,1492 metrů nad mořem, Praděd, a následně překlenout hřeben do samotného městečka Jeseník. Žádný velký bloudění, pěkně přehledně po turistických značkách, s sebou kapku alkoholu, jmenovitě litr rumu, půl litr bylinného likéru Praděd a sedmičku Jacka Danielse, zkrátka alkotrek jak z učebnice horských průserů. Jenže, co by se nám asi tak v létě v Čechách na horách mohlo stát. Panáka na kuráž, ať se práší za Meindlama.

čtvrtek 24.8.

Rumová bouře

Razíme ihned po práci, krátce po sedmé hodině večer, vlakem do Zábřehu na Moravě a s bleskovým přestupem do Šumperka trvá relativně dlouhá cesta jen něco lehce přes dvě hodiny čistého času. Na hlavním nádraží si koupíme 8 (slovy osm) piv na cestu. Statečně držím průměr pivo na půlhodinu, i když vím, že po výstupu v Šumperku budu mít nohy jako dva sudy. To se potvrzuje. Jenže se navíc jedná o pouhou předzvěst rumové bouře, která s námi zanedlouho pěkně zamává. Valíme se po červené značce vstříc chatové osadě Krásné a z litrové petky rumu v půli cesty zbývá půlka. Na nás obou to začíná zanechávat následky a posléze paměťové výpadky. Z celého skoro desetikilometrového úvodu si pamatuji pouze použití své zánovní čelovky Ferrei, která disponuje kuželem světla průměrného kamiónu, což je velice žádoucí pokud člověk opravdu nechce být viděn na horách. My jsme nejenom vidět, ale hlavně i slyšet. Po té, co s věrným kamarádem Rumem postavíme stan – alespoň si to tedy myslíme – začíná náš útok na druhý půl litr rumu. Celý ho nezdoláme, ale když končíme, je v láhvi už jen po dně. Koma ve čtyři ráno, představa ranního vstávání se zařadila do říše bájných snů.

pátek 25.8.

Otevřeno denně

Ráno se probouzím do solidní bolesti a při pohledu na stan se poněkud děsím – tohle má tedy ke vzorově vypnutému tropiku daleko. Nemá smysl dumat nad rumovým úderem předchozí noci, tím si člověk k ničemu nepomůže, za rohem čeká budoucnost. Po vaječné snídani se nám daří, v pravé poledne, pomalu načínat první metry z převýšení, které patří v Čechách k jednomu z nejpříkřejších. Jde to pomalu, ale kupodivu vytrvale, a v jakémsi milosrdném oparu otupělosti, stoupáme podél Kamenného vrchu přes Krtinec až k Motorestu Skřítek kde bychom si rádi orazili, vylemtali pár litrů malinovky, najedli se a zkrátka se tak nějak zrekonstruovali před dvěma prudkými kolmými výstupy, které nás budou čekat v podvečer. Je pátek čtyři hodiny odpoledne a u Motorestu se skví velká cedule „OTEVŘENO DENNĚ“, a na okýnkách malá cedule „zavřeno“. Léňa začíná podléhat mírné panice. Vyjma snídaně jedla za celý den pouze jednu banánovou RAW VEGAN tyčinku, která sice byla dle složení plná proteinů a přírodního banánu, ale chutnala spíše jako synteticky vyrábění gumoví medvídci. Za tři pětky, no nekup to a nerozděl se s kamarádem. Další, větší problém je, že nám došla voda a k nejbližší studánce to je opravdu daleko. A žízně se Léňa bojí víc než banánovýho proteinu. Tenhle problém naštěstí řeší přilehlý Klepáčovský potok. Po pár litrech vody, požití tvrdých analgetik a skoro dvouhodinové pauze, se konečně v šest hodin zvedáme a zakusujeme do výstupu na Ztracené kameny. Dělíme ho na dvě části. I přes šnečí tempo se na vrchol dostávám ještě před osmou večer a z výšky 1240 metrů nad mořem pozoruji urputné funění své kolegyně. Jo, kocovina dává člověku do těla.

Stanování na hřebenech přírodní rezervace

Z nejhoršího jsme ale už venku a napojujeme se na naučnou stezku „Po hřebenech světem horských luk“. Hlavní hřebenová trasa Hrubého Jeseníku nabízí nádherné podvečerní výhledy do okolní krajiny. Kocháme se pohledem z hromady kamenů, které zde dle pověsti vysypal z bot čert při závodu se sedlákem – proto Ztracené kameny. Nejsme sami, pár metrů od kamenů si rozložila tábořiště mladá trojice – dva Češi a jedna Italka. Baví se anglicky a slečna je z Jeseníků evidentně unesena. Já jsem naopak unesen faktem, že si úplně v pohodě staví stan na hranici Národní přírodní rezervace (!) Praděd. Tedy – před počátkem našeho vandru jsem Léňu poučil, že Jeseníky rozhodně nejsou Kokořínský převisy nebo Jihočeský rybníky, ale řadí se mezi nejpřísněji chráněná území u nás. Zákaz táboření, stanování, bivakování, rozdělávání ohně … a dýchat zde už je taky trochu na hraně. Aspoň jsem si to myslel. Ohniště a stanové kolíky, zvolna se zapichující do posvátné půdy, mají trochu jiný názor a představu o významu slova „rezervace“. Už při výstupu nahoru nás minula dvojice s krosnami a karimatkami, a sami jsme další, na těžko jdoucí turisty, předbíhali, takže mám pocit, že tábořiště na Ztracených kamenech bude dost možná jen kapkou v chráněném moři.

Tento pocit je o to oprávněnější, jelikož naším večerním cílem je Jelení studánka. Jedná se o významný, křišťálově čistý a velice lahodný pramen, vzorově udržovaný. Jeho obnova proběhla v roce 1989 a v těsné blízkosti se nalézá i kamenná útulna pro turisty. To vše samozřejmě v přírodní rezervaci Břidličná, která je charakteristická kamenným mořem a subalpínskými porosty smrčin a bučin, tak jak bývá u nás v této nadmořské výšce běžné. Typický je i výskyt kriticky ohrožených druhů rostlin a živočichů. To je ale logicky dáno tím, že podobných míst jako je toto, není mnoho, proto se některé druhy vyskytují pouze v těchto podmínkách.

A podmínky nemají vždy úplně jednoduché. K Jelení studánce přicházíme až krátce po setmění. Útulna beznadějně obsazena a kousek od rozcestníku jsou navíc umístěny dva stany. Čumím na to jak jelen na studánku. Nevadí. Jdeme samozřejmě s davem a tak určuji místo pro stan, též poblíž rozcestníku. Kocovina z nás už úplně spadla a bez rumové mlhy se stan staví neskonale rychleji i kvalitněji ve srovnání s předchozím večerem. Snažím se držet na uzdě svůj světlomet, abych neoslnil spící lidi v okolí. Máme i dost času na to připravit večeři. Tedy Léňa. Dnešní menu totiž obsahuje fazolovou konzervu Hamé a s ní můj žaludek nemá z minulosti úplně nejlepší zkušenosti, spokojím se raději s osvědčeným loveckým salámem.

Spát jdeme před jedenáctou a vstáváme druhý den ráno, suverénně první z celé stanové osady. Že těch bídných 15 kilometrů ale bolelo.

sobota 26.8.

Hvozdík pyšný

V sedm ráno si jdu uvařit ovesnou kaši a nechám Lenku ještě dospat a nabrat síly na dnešní poslední náročnější výstup na samotný Praděd. U studánky si pročítám informační tabule. Nejvzácnější rostlinný druh se jmenuje Hvozdík pyšný (Dianthus superbus) a vyskytuje se ve výšce přesahující 850 metrů nad mořem. Nejedná se sice o endemitní rostlinu, ale v ČR je přítomen pouze v Krkonoších a v Hrubém Jeseníku. Jeho druhové jméno je mi záhadou, lodyha dosahuje velikosti 30 – 60 centimetrů, a květy, které je možné vidět pouze v květnu a v říjnu, také nepředstavují úplný vrchol estetična. Každopádně si myslím, že jeho pýcha, ať už má jakýkoli důvod, byla několika stany trochu pošramocena. Ono, když se do vás zabodne pár kolíků, a lodyhu vám připlácne stanová podlážka, hned hřebínek povýšenosti spadne. Pýcha předchází udusání.

Ne, tak teď vážně. Táboření v těchto místech je mi mírnou záhadou, musím však poznamenat, že všechny stany byly postaveny v těsné blízkosti cesty, nikdo nešel dupat mimo vyznačené trasy a během doby celého vandru jsme v podstatě nenarazili na nic co je jinde bohužel běžné. Žádné odpadky, pet láhve, obaly od sušenek, igelitové tašky … nic, všude čisto. Také nikdo nerozdělával oheň a lidé se chovali tiše, bez vydávání paviáních skřeků, jak je to časté třebas u vodáků a v každém druhém kempu u vody. Zkrátka hory si i v létě jakoby udržují svůj status přirozené autority, kde se prostě bordel nedělá. Předpokládám tedy, že panuje určitá nepsaná dohoda, tichá tolerance, ze strany správy národního parku. Vy neděláte bordel, my vás nebudeme pokutovat a děláme, jakoby jste byli neviditelní. Protože jinak by nebylo nic jednoduššího pro lesní stráž, než vyšlápnout si jednu z nejfrekventovanějších turistických stezek v této oblasti a pak už jenom stanové nocležníky hromadně kasírovat.

Staromák

V devět ráno jsme připraveni vyrazit. Oproti včerejšímu dni máme tříhodinový náskok a před sebou mnohem menší převýšení. Cesta po hřebenech ubíhá dle očekávání skvěle, oba jsme v plné síle a s čistou hlavou kvitujeme výhledy v oblasti Vysoké Hole. Na jedné z pauz sice Léňa vytahuje bylinný likér Praděd, stylové nesený ve skle, se kterým má v plánu nezbytné selfie na vrcholu, ale cucneme si jen mírně a v další části pochodu ten jeden panák rychle vyprchá.

Už po poledni klesneme až k turistické chatě Ovčárna, kde nás vítá dlouho neviděný asfalt a menší dav turistů. Odhaduji to na slabých pár tisícovek, nic co by se nevešlo na širokou příjezdovou cestu po které turisté, kočárky, cyklisté, motorky, auta, kamióny … proudí až na vrchol Praděda. 2,5 kilometru připomíná pěší zónu na Staroměstském náměstí spíš, než odlehlý kout hor. I chování lidí se poněkud přiostřilo, milé zdravení a vzájemná tolerance je ta tam. Od rozhledny sjíždí cyklista rychlostí, kterou odhaduji hodně přes čtyřicet km/h, kličkuje mezi kočárky s dětmi a nakonec málem sráží malého Jack Russela, který patří k několika mladým lidem.

„Jste normální ?“

„Jste vy normální, ty vole ?“

„Naser si!“

A fičí dál po asfaltu dolů …

Začínám toho mít plný zuby. Běžte se hádat na cyklostezky a nebo, ještě líp, někam na fotbal. Tady jste na horách. Aby na vás Praděd šlápnul.

Švýcárna

Původní plán byl dát si nahoře v restauraci jídlo a pivo. To by možná šlo někdy na přelomu října a listopadu. Ne dnes. Lenka si statečně vystojí aspoň frontu na zmrzlinu a ledovou tříšť – slabá půlhodinka. Po krátkém pikniku na louce, a nezbytných fotografických orgiích, nastupuje plán B, chata Švýcárna. Necelé čtyři kilometry sbíháme hravě za 40 minut a vítá nás příjemný rodinný penzion, celý ve dřevě a s mnohem menším množstvím turistů. Lákají mě borůvkové knedlíky a borůvkový likér. Jelikož mám vůli z ocele, dokážu pokušením odolat a objednávám si pouze holandský řízek. Naneštěstí Léňa nepatří k lidem, kteří by dokázali potlačovat svoje chutě a instinkty co se týká jídla a alkoholu. Pro tento okamžik ji ovládl hlad. Pořádná porce domácí česnečky, holandský řízek a pár litříků kofoly. To vše zkonzumováno v solidním čase deseti minut. Na závodech jedlíků by se dozajista jednalo o pěkný výkon, v první polovině celkového pořadí. Následky na sebe nenechávají čekat ani dalších deset minut a moje společnice se začíná kutálet do trávy, kde setrvá v nehybné póze skoro další hodinu. Chápu to. Mít Holanďana usazenýho v hrtanu, nezbývá než čekat až slehne. Naštěstí není kam pospíchat, stačí nám vyrazit po páté odpoledne, dnešním cílem bude nocleh na Vřesové studánce, kousek nad Červenohorským sedlem, necelých deset kilometrů. Předtím se ujímám somrování chleba na baru, došlo nám totiž pečivo a nejbližší hypermarket je tuším … vlastně netuším kde. Slečna sice příliš nechápe, ale ochotně mi půlku bochníku za 30 korun prodává. To je pořád velice lidská vysokohorská přirážka.

Kdo předběhne mravence

Klesání k Červenohorskému sedlu je možné buď po červené značce, nebo po široké cyklostezce. Volíme první variantu a cesta je to nádherná. Rozeklaná krajina s vysokými stráněmi, údolí zakusující se v pádech desítek metrů a znovu se zvedající v zalesněných svazích, rokliny pokryté bylinnými porosty a borůvčím, takřka absence roviny, to vše vytváří typický, pahorky členěný obraz, Hrubého Jeseníku.

Lidé, kteří jdou sem tam proti nám, si ale krásy přírody příliš neužívají. Mladá dívka s přítelem, oba rudí v obličejích, rychle popobíhající rodinky, ti všichni nejdou zrovna výletním tempem. Brzy pochopím proč. V místních mokřadech se urodilo nebývalé množství okřídlených mravenců, kteří turisty nemilosrdně ženou v úseku o délce cca. 5 kilometrů. Za chvílí ženou i nás. Díky Bohu, že klesáme a daří se nám držet mírný náskok za vytrvalého mávání rukou, proklínání a spílání přírodním divům. Nechtěl bych to jít opačně.

Mravenci zrychlili náš postup natolik, že v Červenohorském sedlu jsme již krátce po šesté hodině. Komplex několika budov, penziónů, turistická ubytovna, lyžařské centrum a sjezdovky s lanovkami. Ty si Léňa, jakožto vášnivá lyžařka, fotila už u Vysoké Hole, ale tady by se jí v zimě líbilo ještě víc, i přesto, že místní trasy nepatří mezi nejdelší. Přeci jen, charakter krajiny to úplně neumožňuje.

Oběti hor

Děláme krátkou pauzu poblíž památníku obětem hor. Zde probíhá dvoudenní party, na místě parkuje obytný vůz a vyrostl stan, u ohniště se živě diskutuje a opékají buřty. Bylo by lákavé zůstat, ale povinnosti volají. Jsem nekompromisní, musíme jít. 250 vejškovejch je to poslední co nás dnes má čekat. Jde se po upravené, zvolna stoupající cestě, až neočekávaně lehce a Léňa začíná chytat party náladu. Při zastávce u krytého stolu, na sněžné kotlině, si lepí odřené paty a vydatně si přihne k Pradědu. Mnohokrát opěvovaná, i proklínaná, alkoholová křídla jí pak vynesou až ke Vřesové studánce. 1313 metrů nad mořem. Ke známému poutnímu místu se vztahuje pověst o postřeleném jelenovi, který se vodou z Vřesové studánky zázračně vyléčil ze svých zranění. Lesník, který jelena postřelil, byl sám stižen nevyléčitelnou oční chorobou a i jemu voda ze studánky vrátila zdraví. Tak praví legenda. Podívat se blíže po okolí tohoto poutního místa, nejvýše položeného na Moravě a ve Slezsku, budeme moci až zítra. Teď je po deváté a horský masiv ovládá tma.

Na místě samozřejmě stojí i tři stany. Inu, vybíráme opět místo u rozcestníku, na rovině. Půda je zde dost tvrdá a já tak nějak líný to řešit, kolíky se dají zarazit do země na půl žerdi. Nevadí, dám si cigáro, nasvačím, a pak najdu nějakej šutr a zatluču je. Při otvírání batohu mi do oka padne nenačatá pet láhev plná Jacka Danielse a jelikož moje kamarádka už je pod vládou Pradědova bylinného likéru, říkám si, že se taky trochu poupravím. Vlastně, co by ne, dnes jsme urazili přijatelných 24 kilometrů, nejvýznamnější část trasy máme za sebou, zítra pouze lehký výstup na Keprník a pak se skutálet do Jeseníku na vlak. Dám si panáčka. Z jednoho panáčka je nakonec panáků asi osm. Pouštíme si písničky na chytrém telefonu a vedeme zasvěcené debaty o smyslu života, zkrátka děláme přesně to, co se asi tak na horách běžně dělá. Na obloze se mezitím míhají blesky a každý další rozsvěcuje údolí pod námi zřetelněji než moje autosvítilna. Nemám úplnou představu, kdy se odebíráme ke spánku, ale tipuji, že může být něco po půlnoci. Začíná pršet, stan nás spolehlivě kryje a já upadám do naprostého transu, jaký dokáže způsobit kvalitní bourbon. Probuzení přichází možná po hodině, možná po dvou, těžko říct. Mokré probuzení. Zpropadeně mokré. Do stanu chčije snad všemi otvory. Ve svém stavu nemám ponětí, co se mohlo stát. Léňa je zoufalá a tvrdí, že to je stářím stanu. Netuším, jak dlouho mi trvá vystřízlivět a uvědomit si, že tohle určitě není stářím stanu, protože i staré tropiko v pohodě udrží běžný déšť. A nad námi je běžný déšť, žádná bouřka, žádný vítr. Nakonec vstávám v momentě kdy je celý péřový spacák nasáklý vodou a já se klepu jako naháč v Arktidě. Konečně otevřu stan. Co se asi tak mohlo stát ? No, nic co by stálo za zápis do mého osobního deníčku. Lehký poryv větru vyhákl tropiko z napůl zastrčených kolíků a to se svezlo ze stanu a spadlo na moje boty.To je momentálně naše jediná suchá věc. Kdybych vstal třebas o půl hodiny dříve, vyskočil, přehodil tropiko zpátky na stan a zatloukl kolíky kamenem, nestalo by se vůbec nic. Tyhle úvahy jsou už ale úplně zbytečné. Je pozdě. Ve stanu stojí několik centimetrů vody a nám je pořádná zima.V říjnu či listopadu by začal boj o život, v prosinci nebo v lednu by velice rychle skončil. I dnes, 26. srpna, jsem při odklopení tropika pod ním našel ledovou tříšť. Ta bude, hádám, z mraků. I tak odhaduju teplotu vzduchu okolo pěti stupňů. Nemyslím, že by tohle byly informace, které by Léňa musela nutně vědět. Takže vstávačka. Holka je až překvapivě statečná, na to, že zima jí musí být solidní, nebrečí, dělá co je potřeba. Naštěstí nefouká a nic kolem nás nevlaje. Věci balíme během patnácti minut a směr je jasný – zpět na Černohorské sedlo, tam přiznat, že jsem idiot, a vyprosit si nocleh v některém z místních penziónů. Ještě před odchodem k nám přichází člověk z protějšího stanu a nabízí slivovici. Prý jsou taky trochu promočený, ale ne tolik jako my. I tak uvažuju, co se asi mohlo stát. Že by ani slivovice úplně dobře stan stavět neuměla ? Neuvěřitelný.

Čtyři mrtvý lyžaři

Cesta dolů je rychlá. 3,5 kilometru pod halogenovým stroboskopem za půl hodiny. Jack do mě ještě trochu strká, ale pak rychle odchází, v krizi člověk vystřízliví rychleji, než se opije. Na zahřátí funguje pohyb, je nám teplo a vím, že dokud se budeme hýbat, teplo nám i nadále bude.

Chvíli váháme, který z penziónů zvolit. Nakonec se rozhodujeme pro menší budovu v těsné blízkosti největšího hotelu. Reakce na zvonění žádná. Asi je to menší rodinný podnik. Nevadí, tak holt zaplatíme ten největší a nejdražší hotel tady, inu za blbost musí kreditka trochu vykrvácet. Jaké je naše překvapení, když ani při zvonění na hotel, který zabírá tak třetinu sedla, nikdo nepřichází otevřít. Dívám se na hodinky – tři ráno není ideální čas, ale i tak by noční recepce mohla fungovat. Lence začíná být opět zima a její trpělivost se krátí. Další penzión i turistická ubytovna končí stejným výsledkem. No, zatím je to tak maximálně o rýmu. Ale když si představím, že by se nějaká krize stala třebas v lednu zbloudilému lyžaři při teplotě minus 15, zamrzlý telefon, zamrzlý rty a nikomu se nedozvoní … Na čtyři místa jsme zvonili, čtyři mrtvý lyžaři. Za dvacet minut, to je solidní výsledek.

neděle 27.8.

Chata Jesenka

Zkusíme ještě poslední místo – malá chata Jesenka vypadá ještě víc pustě než domy kolem ní. Po prvním zazvonění to chce Léňa už vzdát a spáchat rituální sebevraždu, ale napodruhé se na chodbě rozsvítí a ozvou se kroky. Příjemný vysoký muž, přímo majitel chaty, se přišel podívat na pražský výkvět, který si udělal v srpnu výlet do hor. Krátce mu vysvětluji situaci. Všechny apartmány má sice plně obsazeny, ale nechá nás přenocovat ve společenské místnosti. Naše vyhasínající životy začínají plápolat. Rozkládáme všechno na topení a krb, suchá je pouze moje mikina, kterou dávám Lence a sám si beru umělohmotné tričko s dlouhým rukávem. Je jenom trochu vlhké a na mě už doschne. Zaujmeme pozice plodu na pohovkách a jdeme si na tři hodiny zdřímnout, osazenstvo chaty bude vstávat brzo a já zde nechci dlouho otravovat. Za chvíli nás čeká přesun směr domov, ve stavu v jakém se nachází naše věci je nesmysl snažit se za každou cenu dokončit původní plán cesty.

Vstávání je tvrdé. Po sedmé ráno balíme naše stále mokré oblečení, Lenka si namísto kalhot obléká punčocháče, a já se jdu vyrovnat s majitelem. Jakákoli snaha o uhrazení provizorního noclehu je však marná, nedaří se mi vnutit mu ani mizerný dvě kila. „Taky chodím na hory a beru to jako povinnost, dobrý skutek. Třeba se mi to vrátí, až sám budu potřebovat.“

Jestli někdy někdo pojede na Červenohorský sedlo do penziónu, pak jedině Jesenka – http://www.feje.cz/index1.php?file=ubytovani . Ještě nás zve na snídani … To už odmítám, musíme jít omrknout místní autobusy. Vlhkou rukou zaznamenávám aspoň zápis do knihy návštěv a vydáváme se vstříc autobusové zastávce, které zrovna dvakrát nevěřím.

Hotel Grand

Problém je v tom, že mezi utopenými věcmi je i Lenky chytrý telefon a jeho tři ovládací tlačítka vypověděla službu – nedostane se na idos a je přesvědčena o tom, že bez aplikací nás čeká bloudění a bídná smrt. Návrat o dvacet let zpět v čase je, pravda, dobrodružný. Vyznat se v tištěných jízdních řádech byl hlavolam v devadesátých letech a je to stejný hlavolam i v roce 2017. První autobus nám ujede, protože stojíme na zastávce ve špatném směru … na druhý pokus se už ale rozjíždíme do Šumperka. Serpentiny do údolí dávají připomenout, že ani výška tisíc metrů nad mořem není zanedbatelný kopeček.

V Šumperku přistáváme před desátou dopoledne což je dobrý čas na to najít hospodu, dosušit se, a oslavit včerejší debakl nějakým tím obědem. A když oslavit, tak rozhodně ne v žádným nuzným čtyřkovým pajzlu. Hotel Grand. Ano, to zní přijatelně pro úroveň, kterou vyžadujeme. Ostatně včerejší/dnešní nocleh byl zadara, takže ušetřené peníze je třeba roztočit. Třeba kdybych řekl, že jsme v nouzi, mohl by být i oběd a pivo zadara … no dobrá, nebudu už nadále dráždit Pradědovu přízeň. Cpu se kuřecím steakem a se zájmem pozoruju Léňu, stále v punčocháčích, kterak se snaží na poledním slunci usušit svoje SOFT SHELL kalhoty. Byla to skvělá koupě asi za patnáct stovek od firmy Alpine Pro. Zaručeně rychleschnoucí materiál. Zatímco moje kalhoty, tričko, mikina, bunda a i ten promáčený stan na batohu už vyschl…rychleschnoucí kalhoty drží vodu jak močály v pralese. Nezlomí je ani několikahodinový pobyt na přímém slunci. Není mi jasné, jak toho výrobce dokázal dosáhnout, každopádně jako ochrana proti slunci a zdroj věčného vlhka a chladu nemají konkurenci. Na Saharu ideální. Budou se hodit i dnes. Lenka si je posléze obléká, protože tropy se v Šumperku začínají hlásit o slovo a kalhoty jí příjemně ochlazují nohy.

Na zahrádce Hotelu Grand trávíme pod slunečníkem skoro čtyři hodiny a zvedat se na vlak se nám vůbec nechce. Spoj, který vyráží ve dvě odpoledne do Zábřehu nad Moravou, stíháme na poslední chvíli.

Sbohem podhoří, snad zase brzy na viděnou a v lepší kondici.

Ve skleníku

Doba odjezdu ze Zábřehu do Prahy se začíná ukazovat jako poněkud nevhodná. Spojů sice jezdí požehnaně, ale začínají se kupit zpoždění jednotlivých vlaků, na nádraží se srocují davy a teplota povážlivě stoupá přes tropickou třicítku. Není mi zrovna dvakrát dobře, tohle jsem nečekal, větší nával bych očekával až v pozdějších hodinách, kdy by se dle mého odhadu mělo vracet z víkendu větší množství lidí. Léňa si s tím starosti nedělá, značně jí otrnulo, teplo miluje, a do vlaku si natěšeně kupuje pár plechovek piva. No to potěš. Blbě se mi dejchá, potím se, a určitě nehodlám svůj přehřátý stav zhoršovat ethanolem.

Uvnitř rychlíku Bečva připadá na jeden vagon 1000 lidí a 1 molekula kyslíku. Stojíme na osvědčeném místě u záchoda. Asi nikde jinde jsem během cestování železnicí nestrávil více času. Prostor je klimatizován. Ano, klimatizace běží, ale při tomto počtu lidí nemá šanci jakkoli zlepšit životní podmínky uvnitř vlaku. Kdo blbě snáší dusno, pro něj přichází očistec. Blbý je, že ten kdo blbě snáší dusno, jsem zrovna já. Copak včera, to byla na hřebenech v mokru a v zimě úplná sranda, prostě jsem si dal pár kliků, rozhejbal se, a nic se nedělo. Na dusno kliky nefungujou. Na něj nic nefunguje. Možná kyslíková maska. Ta ale v povinné výbavě rychlíků doposud chybí. Skutečný souboj o život může začít. Po chvíli už přestávám komunikovat a veškeré své síly soustředím na koordinaci nádechů a lapání po vzduchu.

To Léňe ke štěstí nic neschází, v pohodě si otvírá plechovku svého zlatavého moku a zve k nám do vagónu partu roztodivných pivních Pepíků. Skupina pupkáčů ve středním věku se nenechá dvakrát přemlouvat a s chutí začíná nasávat nejen pivo, ale i to co zbylo z atmosféry. Tak to je konec. Sundávám si tričko a začínám se modlit.

Čtyři zoufalci co strávili víkend v hospodě, předpokládám navíc, že v jedný hospodě, jsou ochotni se nalepit na jakoukoli mladou holku v utopické představě, že by to mohlo skončit, v pohádkovém světě, seznámením, v říši fantasy (fantasmagorie) pak dokonce sexem. Velí tomu šedovlasej týpek, který se statečně předvádí, seč mu síly stačí. Nejdřív zkouší rádobyvtipný hlášky na průvodčí a pak otravuje lidi, kteří se snaží dostat na záchod. Ostatní mu zdatně sekundují. Je mi to tak nějak jedno, taky jsem byl ožralej x-krát za debila, ať se teda bavěj. Situace se ale dost drasticky zhorší, když vlak neplánovaně zastaví mimo zastávku, a tenhle starej magor otevírá dveře do kolejiště a vybízí Léňu ať si dá cigaretu. Vlak se pomalu rozjíždí s otevřenými dveřmi. Se sklenějma očima povídám, ať to kouká kurva zavřít. Opakuje se to ještě jednou, tentokrát na nádraží, tuším v Pardubicích. To už mi nervy tečou víc než pot z podpaží. Ještě jednou a nejspíš by se dostavil dost vyhrocenej konflikt. Nebo bych toho debila z těch dveří prostě vykopnul. Nikdy jsem nechápal, jak někdo může vypadnout za jízdy z vlaku. Teď je mi to nepatrně jasnější. Nicméně tento druh riskování a nesmyslnýho hazardu, kdy lze jen všechno – třebas zdraví či život – ztratit, a nic nezískat, nejspíš nikdy nepochopím. Kdyby vám kluci bylo osmnáct … ale v padesáti ? Navždy mladí, navždy blbý. Být tam sám, tak se nejspíš jen chytnu madel a počkám si, který z přítomných jako první poletí vstříc amputaci. Jenže člověk občas podléhá pocitu odpovědnosti a vzhledem k tomu, že na Léňu doma čeká manžel, rád bych mu ji dovezl v pořádku. Jelikož předpokládám, že jenom s jejím levým chodidlem by se nejspíš nespokojil.

Kolem prochází průvodčí a jen tak prohodí : „Pán hodlá pokračovat ?“ Myslí zda hodlám pokračovat ve svlíkání. Je to narážka na skutečnost, že na sobě nemám tričko. Rád bych vysvětlil, že to opravdu není proto, že bych byl ožralej, a dokonce ani proto, že bych snad chtěl předvádět své dokonalé tělo partě připitejch strejdů, ale že je mi jen prostě kurevsky zle a dusím se. Na žádnou konverzaci však nemám sílu, a tak se jen tvářím jako masovej vrah, a holka mě raději nechává být. Evidentně jízda s otevřenými dveřmi je cool, cestující bez trička, to je skoro případ pro zásahovou jednotku. Můžu bejt rád, že mě na příští stanici nezakleknou. Roll me through the gates of hell …

Na nádraží v Libni pak přichází, po takřka dvou hodinách, vysvobození. Na hlavní nádraží nepokračuji a raději plnými doušky hltám svěží pražský smog. O pár desítek minut později se vše zdá jen jako zlý sen. V místní hospodě objednávám mořskou štiku a spokojeně ji zapíjím nefiltrovanými Svijany. Lenka kamarádům vysvětluje, že nás na hřebenech smetl děsivý orkán, který se vytvořil minulý týden nad Pacifikem, ale moc důvěryhodně to nezní, každý holt ví, že na světě existují mnohem zrádnější druhy vichřic a smrští.

Nikdy a nikde není jasný, co přinese příští vteřina. Teď žiješ a směješ se, za moment ležíš jako kus ledu ve stanu, udušenej na záchodě a nebo máš místo nohou dva pahejly. Život je zkrátka jako videohra, kde máš jen jeden život.

I když kdo ví.

Někdy se cítím, jako bych měl životů ještě sto. A krok jako Praděd !

Trasa výletu na mapě:



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